A Reasonable-ish Question

What is it exactly that guys talk to each other about when in line for a gangbang? I mean, there you are, waiting in line, naked and most likely wanking in an effort to stay hard. That kinda limits your conversational options, especially if it is drafty. I would imagine that the conversation focuses less on art, philosophy and politics and more along the lines of: "Dude, do you know where I could score some Viagra and a blindfold?"

Just a Thought

If Michael Bay and Joel Schumacher made a movie together, would even light be able to escape? Think of it exploding robot nipples draped in latex which is also exploding. That also sounds like the name of either the best or worst porn in history.

A Dark Ceremony

The room is dark save for the flickering light from the candles sitting on the alter behind a tall figure standing before it. The figure is tall and clad in dark robes, his face obscured by shadows. A young man kneels before the figure, head bowed.

"You have proven your worth in battle, the keenness of your mind and the yearning for power in your heart. You are a true Lord of the Sith! Arise Darth Sweetypants!"

The figure arises slowly

"I will endeavor to serve the dark si- Wait, Darth what?!?"

Sabers ignite

In Response to the Z.C.P.

It is with a heavy heart that I remove the Z.C.P. which I have been posting on this blog. This comes as a result of several complains and threats from various special interest groups. I include here just a couple of the letters I have received:

"Dear Sir,
It has come to our group's attention that you have been posting slanderous and inflammatory material on your blog. While it is true that your blog is not one of the most popular on the web and has relatively few, if any, regular readers we feel it our duty to stomp out bigotry against those of our kind wherever it appears. To long have we, the life-impaired, been the victims of the lifeist views of you and others. The life-impaired serve many vital functions in today's society. Who do you think it was that came up with the slow, shambling pace of most of the world's bureaucracies? Why, the I.R.S. of the United States is only one of the many organizations that would crumble without the many life-impaired individuals that make it the great institution it is today. The individuals that set the schedules of both Congress and the Supreme Court are also members of our particular segment of the population! We demand, Sir, that you remove your slanderous article at once!

Sincerely,
The Proud Life-Impaired Individuals Currently Consuming your Neighbors"



"Grains, Grains

Graaaaaiiiins grains grains graaaaaaains! Grains Graaaaaaiiiins, grains grains Graaaaaaiiiiiiiiiins, grain grains

GRAAAAIIIIIINNNNS,
The Vegitarian Zombies of America


PS:
Graaaiins"

"Dear, Citizen,

I would like to warn you in the strongest possible terms that milk-flame corpulent porpoise hork shall not be flemmeled in ninny-ba. I would suggest that nickto forlorn makkies slorf.

Sincerely,
Sen. Reginald J. Splokington (Chairman Congenitally Incoherent Party) (Deceased)"

As I do not have the resources necessary to stand up to the pressure placed upon me by these and many other special interest groups I must, sadly, remove the previously posted Z.C.P. But take heart, I will continue to work diligently to complete my Z.C.P. I will also be exploring any options that will allow me to repost it in order to allow the public to be better prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

And Now, Because you all Need to be Punished: Some Jokes!

A woman goes to her doctor and says: "Doctor, I don't know what is causing it but every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor says: "Well, what are you taking for it?" "Pepper"

*******************************************************************************

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are
traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in
Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out
of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car
and hisses at them through the windshield.

Quick, quick! shouts Sister Mary Agnes, What should we
do?

Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the
abomination, says Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the
mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing
at the nuns. What shall I do now? she shouts.

Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water
before we left the Vatican, replies Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The
vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on
and continues hissing at the nuns.

Now what? shouts Sister Mary Agnes.

Show him your cross, says Sister Mary Vincent.

Now you're talking, says Sister Mary Agnes. She then
opens the window and shouts, "Get the fuck off our car!"

********************************************************************************

René Descartes walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a while he finishes and the barmaid comes over and asks if he would like another. Descartes responds: "I think not" and vanishes

*********************************************************************************

Jonny was a chemists son but now he is no more. What he though was H2O was H2SO4.

**********************************************************************************

Two old ladies are discussing a new restaurant the had just visited.
Lady 1: "Oh, the food there was awful!"
Lady 2: "And such small portions!"

***********************************************************************************

That'll Lern Ya!

If you got more, post away!

Darn You, DC! Darn You to HECK!!!!

Ok, as most of you know by now, a DC Comics MMO is coming out on November 2nd. For better or worse it is being run by Sony Online. For those of you you who are unfamiliar, Sony was the company that was given a license to print money (the Star Wars property)and ran it into the bloody ground. This may have something to do with them no longer having the property. Anyway, like it or not, it is their baby.

Now, you might be saying to yourself: "But, Logan (which, admittedly is a pretty strange thing to be saying to yourself) Isn't the creation of DC Universe Online a good thing?"

Well, the answer to that is a tentative "yes" and a definite "no".

First the tentative "Yes". While I am very excited about this game, I am also worried. The last superhero themed was "City of Heroes" and to be honest, I absolutely hated that game so I am really hoping that they don't take the path that that game did. I realized that it is most likely inevitable that there will be some similarities but I am hoping that they will be minimal. Another possible problem is, as previously mentioned, Sony. Now, there are many things I dislike about Sony but for the purposes of this discussion... ok, diatribe, it is simply their poor handling of other properties. Now to be fair, Sony also runs Everquest, a game that I have admittedly never played but has put a few friends into rehab to overcome their "EverCrack" adiction, so Sony must be doing something right.

Now another damper on my excitement it the probable direction that gameplay will most likely take. It should be noted that I am a regular player of "World of Warcraft" and am generally rather fond of its gameplay style. In fact, my only major complaint about that game is that once you get to a certain level, it is very difficult to go it alone. Now there are those, I know, who say that it is stupid to play an MMO and not take advantage of the social aspect. To those that would say this I would humbly suggest the piss off. It is my $15 a month and I will play any goddamn way I please. The reason that I generally play in groups is simple: I suck at it. My suckitude (it is totally a word) usually results in the other group members casting rather harsh questions regarding my sexuality and or the honor or lack thereof of my mother regardless of my having warned them ahead of time. Not the most fun thing ever. This worries me because I am not sure if there is going to be room for the solo players in the DC MMO. This worry, my biggest, feeds in to everything I am hopeful about with this game.

Now the definite no's. No matter how craptastic this game ends up being, I will at least play it for a little while. This will have a two pronged effect: it will cut into what little money I have and limit my already almost nonexistant social life. Why, would I even try this game? The answer to that is simple: I am a comic geek and it is the law. It is a federal one, not just a state thing.

Now, on a positive note, if this game succeeds, it is only a matter of time before Marvel jumps on the bandwagon. When it comes to comics, I am bi.

Between this and the upcoming Star Wars MMO, my little geek mind may implode.

Another good thing is that I have always wanted to join the Green Lantern Corps. Sadly it is looking like I will have to settle for doing it in a game. *heavy sigh*

I May be Going to Hell but a Whole lot of Other Nerds are Coming with Me!

Just a little update to my previous post about Westboro Baptist Church. It seems that they did follow through on their previous threat to protest the SDCC. Well, 3 of them did anyway. That's right 3 righteous souls stood alone against the den of iniquity. Their only weapons in their crusade were 5 offensive signs. There they stood all alone in their righteousness, saving souls and taking names. Wait, did I say alone? My mistake. They actually had lots and lots of company. Company in the form of over 100 nerds mocking them with signs of their very own. With signs like "Superman Died For Your Signs" and "God Loves Gay Robin." I am sure WBC was really feeling the love. To all my nerd brothers and sisters: Bravo! My only disappointment with this outcome is that I was not there to see it.

Thanks again to Topless Robot!
You can find the original story here: http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/07/sdcc_nerds_120_lunatic_assholes_3.php

If any one has pics of the counter-protest, send them in and I will attempt to post them