And Now, Because you all Need to be Punished: Some Jokes!

A woman goes to her doctor and says: "Doctor, I don't know what is causing it but every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor says: "Well, what are you taking for it?" "Pepper"

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Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are
traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in
Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out
of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car
and hisses at them through the windshield.

Quick, quick! shouts Sister Mary Agnes, What should we
do?

Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the
abomination, says Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the
mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing
at the nuns. What shall I do now? she shouts.

Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water
before we left the Vatican, replies Sister Mary Vincent.

Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The
vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on
and continues hissing at the nuns.

Now what? shouts Sister Mary Agnes.

Show him your cross, says Sister Mary Vincent.

Now you're talking, says Sister Mary Agnes. She then
opens the window and shouts, "Get the fuck off our car!"

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René Descartes walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a while he finishes and the barmaid comes over and asks if he would like another. Descartes responds: "I think not" and vanishes

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Jonny was a chemists son but now he is no more. What he though was H2O was H2SO4.

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Two old ladies are discussing a new restaurant the had just visited.
Lady 1: "Oh, the food there was awful!"
Lady 2: "And such small portions!"

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That'll Lern Ya!

If you got more, post away!