Would-be world conqueror seeks minions.
Candidates must exhibit intelligence, resourcefulness honesty and a fanatical devotion to me. All candidates must be willing to die and/or kill at my command without the slightest hesitation. Duties include typing, delivering demands, picking up my dry cleaning, dusting the secret lair including any superweapons therein, blackmail, picking up my mail at the post office, wiretapping, indoctrinating future minions, running the lair’s daycare program, kidnapping, doing my shopping, liquidating any obstacles to my rule, organizing my comic and toy collection, disposing of the bodies of those who displease me and lobbying.
Benefits include: room and board, license to kill at my command, vacation days, health care including eye and dental in the lair’s various laboratories, a sense of creative fulfillment and the promise of your own country to rule after I assume my rightful place as ruler or the world. Other benefits include the promise of your own planet to rule should my empire spread throughout the galaxy.
Other positions available include: sex slave, torturer, accountant, research, lab assistants and meat shield.
All applicants should submit resume for review. If resume is approved an interview will be scheduled, notification within 30 days.
A planet? A planet? Are you Joseph Smith come back from the great beyond? ((I have been listening to the book of mormon musical...))
ReplyDeleteThe promise of a planet. Your mileage may vary.
ReplyDelete